While there is really no school to be a stay-at-home mom, here’s the ultimate guide and tips to be the strong confident mom you wish to be.

Becoming a stay-at-home mom is underrated. Since I quit my corporate job 6 years ago, my hands have been tied to my family. Moving to the US made being a SAHM much harder. Three boys under my care means adapting to 3 different budding personalities in addition to all the work I need to do at home.

Should I say I am an expert mom? I don’t think so. Motherhood is overwhelming because you have to deal with the complexity of it’s true definition. It is more than the ability to bear children, it means to care for your family and sustain that love in many ways possible all through your life.

To all moms who consider transitioning from working to a stay-at-home mom, here are some common questions and tips to help you navigate your SAHM journey.

Common Questions and Tips To Make Stay-at-Home Mom Life Successful

What do you need to consider before deciding to become SAHM?

What is your primary reason? 

Reason gives us purpose. It drives us to do things we want to achieve. Some reasons why moms choose to stay at home are finances, time and relationship. 

How much is your household income?

Budget plays a major role in a family decision. Can your partner provide for the whole family? When bills are coming one after another, it would be best if becoming a SAHM is a mutual decision between you and your partner.

How much does child care cost?

Child care gets a significant chunk of your budget. Sometimes, getting a part-time job is not worth doing if it only goes to child care. 

Are you mentally ready?

Being a SAHM requires more than an 8-hour job. Not only will it tire you out, it will also test your life values and mental health. So better be prepared.

Does your partner have good health insurance coverage?

Will your partner’s work cover the insurance for all the family members? And what does the insurance cover? These are the common questions you should consider to be a confident SAHM.  It gives you peace of mind knowing emergencies will not drill a big hole in your pocket.

Who’s decision is it?

Any decision made inside marriage should be shared.  It will lead to fewer arguments in the future.

How long would you like to do it?

Give yourself a timeframe on how long you want to be a Stay-at-home mom.  Having a goal sets your plan ahead. You can adjust it according to your needs.

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What to expect when you become a stay-at-home mom?

Give Up Personal Space

Every inch of your house becomes a communal space especially when you have a toddler or baby to take care of.  Even bathroom breaks and bath time become a shared activity.

You will master cooking

At first, I only knew a few recipes.  But as time went on, I learned one of the best ways to please the family is to indulge their cravings. It’s a compliment when they finish the dish down to the last drop (but can also be a pain in my wallet).

Love and Hate Relationship With Your Child

Motherhood is not always on cloud nine, or about butterflies and rainbow skies with the kids.  More often than not, we fight, we scream, we cry. But at the end of the day, we kiss each other goodnight with the sweetest “I love you’s”,

Kids will need you the most.

The more kids feel your presence, the more they will need you. 

You will witness your child’s milestones

As a mom, you can celebrate every milestone of your baby, from his first roll to his first step. Here’s an extra tip, try to take photos of these special moments.  When they grow up, taking the kids down to the memory lane can be a bonding activity.  They will love it.

Do household chores to pieces

I do most of the cleaning at home.  But I am starting to delegate tasks to my eldest who’s now 8. When the husband is not working, I ask him to take care of the kids so I can clean thoroughly.  It becomes a stress therapy for me as well.

Bathing becomes a luxury

After a day of babysitting, cooking and cleaning, bathing becomes a luxury.  But I have to warn you, when there is no one to look after the kids, bathing can turn into a 5-minute rushed challenge.

You are likely to experience mom burnout

Moms are susceptible to burnout.  It only means you are just human. Mom gets tired.  Don’t you worry, there are ways you can recover from mom burnout.  Remember that you are not alone.

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How to Ease the Transition to SAHM?

Don’t count score with your husband

Parenting is not a competition between you and your partner.  Don’t make a tally sheet who’s doing more and not.  It is best to talk things through and fix your schedule.

Delegate tasks

Unload your burden. I remember my husband telling me, “You just need to ask me”.  So instead of sulking and keeping all the work to yourself, be brave to ask your husband to help you out. You can also delegate tasks to your child according to his capabilities.  You are not just helping yourself but you also teach the kids to be responsible family members. 

Set your expectations

Make clear expectations from yourself, from your husband and your kids. Drop the “should, would, need, must” words.  These words put too much pressure on an already work-laiden motherhood. Be realistic and know what you are capable of.

Find a happy place

What makes you happy? A chocolate or ice cream treat? A spa? Watch a movie.  It won’t hurt treating yourself once in a while.  Besides, you deserve it.

Find a support group

When motherhood is putting so much toll on your well-being, find someone who can listen or relate with you.  There’s so many mom groups on Facebook that you can join or find a local support group in your community.  

Stop stereotyping stay-at-home moms as “just taking care of the kids”.  These moms acquired skills they wouldn’t believe they can do.  They are teachers, chauffeur, house maintenance, mechanic and more as needed. SAHM are strong and confident women who unselfishly put their family first on top. 

The questions and tips for stay-at-home mom are endless. Just be sure to communicate well your feelings and thoughts and don’t be too hard on yourself.