Husband Rants: How To Be A Dad to 3 Boys
It is not uncommon to read posts about how mom feels about parenting. But we sometimes know little about how dad survives fatherhood. This is about how parenting consumes my husband and how is he as dad to 3 boys.
Usually, moms have a lot to say about running the house and taking care of the family while dads speak less. So when they do open their mouth, everybody should listen. Modern fatherhood has changed the perception of dads as financial providers and pillars of the household. Moms and dads co-share responsibilities in and out of the house.
As a guest blog post, my husband shares his thoughts about parenting 3 boys. This is how to be a dad who juggles work, parenting, side hustles and personal ideas.
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Adulting on Steroids (or “How I’m Surviving Life in my 30s with 3 Young Boys”)
by: Mighty Rasing
A pastor once asked, “what do men who turn 40 do?” I asked back: “go through mid-life crisis?” He laughed and said that that could also be true. But his answer was “go to the gym.”
I’m almost 40. The operative word here is “almost.” I have made plans to go back to the gym several times! You see, the past 3 years have been really busy. Our second son, Caspian, was born in late 2018. A year later, we learned that we were pregnant with our third child, who turned out to be another son!
The World Went Crazy!
In 2020, the world plunged into a global pandemic. Everything turned upside down! The only upside for our family is that I got to avoid travel and work from home. It was really helpful since our third son arrived in July of that year.
I knew I was busy before having 3 kids. But boy, things got crazy! One time my wife and I were watching a TV show on HGTV, about a couple with three kids who were about to buy a home. The guy wanted an extra room that he can turn into a man cave so he can play video games on his spare time. To that, his wife replied: “we got three kids, we don’t have spare time!” I laughed out loud. So true!
One time, I was on a call with my best friends and I half-jokingly complained about how busy life is with three kids and that my hair’s turning gray. They said “Ginusto mo yan!” (You wanted that!”) and we just laughed.
Adulting is one of those hashtags on social media millennials have been using for maybe a decade now. I’m a millennial so I’m owning that word. But even after almost two decades of being an adult, I don’t think I’m an expert at this yet. I mean, is there ever an expert at this? There’s a lot of responsibilities in growing up:
- showing up for your job and doing good work;
- keeping relationships alive and vibrant—especially with the people who matter the most in your life;
- keeping track of all the bills and payables;
- saving, investing, and trying to make sure money won’t be a problem in the future;
- staying fit (if you can, that is);
- continue learning and improving skills;
- and the list goes on!
On top all these, you are supposed to pursue your passion, be fulfilled, and have fun!
Yes, I’m complaining just a bit. Part of the reality of being a father, or at least an adult, is you have to prioritize so many things over personal projects, hobbies, and interests. Right now, my guitars are sitting in a corner. I haven’t played them significantly since 2019, nor have I written poetry or short story since… I don’t even remember when!
Thankful for my beloved wife!
I am super thankful for my wife! She moved halfway across the world with me and we’ve built our family in a foreign land, far from everything that’s familiar! She gave up a thriving career in the Philippines, she also chose not to work here in Nashville so she can focus on our sons. Sometimes, she even sacrifices her personal time for me and our boys!
It can be overwhelming, especially on those days that I am tired and there’s a mountain of dishes on the sink that needs to be cleaned. Or when the boys are hungry or tired and crying! That’s another thing you give up when you’re a parent. Quiet!
Thankfully, this lasts only for a season! Our eldest is in now in third grade. We see his growth and development, and he doesn’t need as much care as our two younger boys. Our two toddlers will get there, too. In the meantime, we need to be patient and take one thing at a time.
This lasts for a season. People keep telling us that this season will also be over before we knew it. And that kids grow up so quickly!
Sorry if you came here expecting practical tips on how to survive having three kids. I will probably write that in the future. But it’s not just all complaints and struggles. I’ve had lots of hugs and kisses from our babies. Lots of reminders of love and grace. Plus, I get to play with Hot Wheels cars all over again!